When I was still a little kid, I used to look up to people who are much older than me. Like, ‘Wow, I wanna be like their age too. I guess they can do whatever they want and bet they’ve figured out life already’, said the 10-year-old me.
Yes, even when I was still a small one, I feel like I think like a grown-up already.
What is life?
Why do we have to go to church?
Why do we need to see statues and close our eyes while holding them?
I have so many questions back then.
And as mentioned, I thought grown-ups new everything already and they are all free.
But then life moved forward and here I am, your 28-year-old kid, still wandering in the land of the unknown, still full of questions of what is and what-ifs. But what I learned is that every one of us has our own timelines and processes.
It’s not my birthday today but I just feel like I need to consolidate these lessons I should not forget.
- ON LIFE
- Don’t pressure yourself too much.
Do you still remember those ‘What are your 5-year goals?’ back in your early 20s? Heck, I still remember it. Buy car. Full-time businesswoman. Already have my own resort. Dormitory. Traveled to 10 countries already. Earning $$$$. But… No, nothing happened.
If you think about all these we’ll get discouraged. Where’s the business? It failed. Where’s the resort? Still on to it. Traveled to different countries? Nah.
But if we go deep to this, and really look back on what happened during the past, you’ll know that: you bought a house and lot; you graduated in college on time; got a good raise; made your Mother proud, and you are still learning about life’s ups and downs.
Dear, let’s not pressure our selves too much.
We have our own timelines. Do what you need to do. Hustle but take a rest. Look back but don’t dwell too much in the past and don’t hurt yourself for not getting your goals on time. Check what could have been wrong and try to correct it. If nothing can be changed, go and get another option. - Stop the analysis-paralysis
Sometimes what’s keeping us in the same position as we were before is our way of analyzing things.
What if it will not work?
What will happen if I do this?
Will I meet him? What if he doesn’t like me?
Answer: You will never know unless you try. If it doesn’t work, so what? Just go and get yourself there. If you think you have a good business idea, make a plan and grab your chance of getting your dream! But of course, we don’t suggest you do this to every little thing you think. Use this with so much wisdom. She’s our friend. - Write your goals and plan ahead to get those.
I’m a sucker for goals writing and planning ever since highschool. But hey, the procrastinator in me is a monster you know that there are still (I mean a lot) goals still there on my list.
BUT! Don’t get this stop you in writing and re-writing your goals in life. While we grow up, our visions change and plans are getting clearer. So, just write your goals and don’t forget to plan ahead in getting those.
It also feels good to know that knowing that you have these goals that you need to pursue for every waking moment of your life. - You don’t need to be someone else to feel accepted and loved.
..because you’re already are. And nothing will ever take that away from you.
If you’re sad that you don’t belong at work because you have a different way of thinking than your peers, know that it’s okay to be alone than to mingle with people who can pollute your mind.
If you think that no one will ever love you because they call you fat or dark skin or ugly, know that there’s someone out there who will love every good and bad in you.
You don’t need to change yourself so you can fit it. Be the best version of yourself and forget about those people because more often than not, you don’t need them in your life. - Disconnect. Be in love with nature. Travel.
If someone tells you to stop traveling or going to different places because you are just wasting money and time, don’t believe in them because you need your time off.
Time off with all the hustle and bustle, all the hard works, because hey, you deserve this.
Discover new places.
Meet different people.
Know another culture.
Be lost in a city.
You deserve to rest your eyes and mind from the usual routine. Promise, this will help your mind and soul. - Do it now! Stop procrastinating.
At 28, I am not proud to stay that I am one of the great procrastinators. I always put things off, like when I say ‘things’, it’s more or less the most important ones. Made a blog on this as well!
This is still a struggle for me but I’m also proud to say that I am a fighter.
Procrastination has been my enemy for the past years and will not allow this to happen again. So for everyone who is struggling with this, I suggest we use the 2-minute rule and the pomodoro technique.
2-minute rule – If you know you can do a certain task in less two minutes, go and get it done.
Pomodoro Technique – is a productivity strategy that uses a timer to break down tasks into small intervals; usually 25 minutes.
I usually use the Pomodoro technique. For the timer, I use this. Let’s go and beat procrastination! - Don’t forget to forgive the most important person in your life — yourself.
More often than not, this is what we always forget to do — forgiving ourselves. Why not try to recheck ourselves and forgive through constant prayers, self-compassion, and self-love?
Forgive yourself for thinking that everyone cares which eventually made you feel suffocated and stagnant.
Forgive yourself for loving the wrong person, for pushing for a relationship that you know will never last.
Forgive yourself for thinking low about yourself because of what others say.
Forgive yourself for the wasted years thinking about others and money that you should have invested instead.
Always forgive and love yourself. - Always know that Jesus is backing you up.
Let’s accept and acknowledge Him.
Years ago, when I was still in college, I was so lost that I gave up the thought of going to church because I don’t know who is there. Like I have been to different Catholic groups, woke up very early to do this and that, because I was told to.
I don’t understand but I know I was searching and yearning for something to fill that hole in my heart.
And during my 3rd year in college, this was so vivid to me, it was so clear that finally, that hole will only be for Jesus. No one and nothing can fill that up.
Years after, I met Jesus in a cold place. I still have hesitations but it was clearer this time. I understood that nothing can separate us from the Love of God. And we don’t need to exert so much effort for us to be loved by Him because we are already loved ever since He died on the cross for our sins. I understood now that the ‘good things’ that we are doing for others and for Him is the effect of our love for Him and not to gain His favor and love. Because again, we’re already loved. - There will be people who’ll just USE you. Watch out.
ON MONEY - Stop the sandwich generation. Prepare for your retirement fund.
Have you heard about the sandwich generation? The sandwich generation is what most of the Filipino families are into right now.
It is where the children are paying for every need and wants of their parents since they weren’t able to prepare for their retirement years. We are ‘sandwiched’ or ‘naiipit’ in moving forward with our own lives.
Not that we don’t love our parents. But we need to know that we need to be the last sandwich generation so that our future kids will have the freedom in using their hard-earned money to prepare for their future family, business, or whatever they wanna do in life.
Meaning, we need to prepare now for our retirement. Promise, you and your future kids will thank you later. - Invest your hard-earned money.
I know I mentioned above that we need to travel and explore. But, we need to know the balance of spending and investing.
If I would go back in time, I’ll probably have different investments. - Never depend on others for money.
Work your ass off. Unless you are not capable of working, never depend on others for money. At 28, I hope that you already know what you want in life and how you’ll get those and not just stay dependent on people who are working hard as well. Get up, lazy head. - Don’t get into debt if you know you can’t pay for it.
There’s good debt and bad debt. Good debt is where you know there’s a possibility of increase in cashflow when your purchased this item.
Example: You wanna buy via credit card an oven because you wanna sell cookies. This can be a good investment. Just make sure that you are determined in
13.
14. Start a business and never be shy about it.
15. That 7,000 pesos dress is not an investment.
On Career
16. Work smart, not hard
17. It’s okay if your work is not in line with your course.
18. But get a sideline in line with your course or your passion
On Relationships
19. If you found the one, you will feel definitely feel that ‘peace’
..When you’re young, you always look for that ‘spark’
20. It’s better to push yourself to be numb if you know nothing will change your circumstance.
21. Timing is everything. Maybe once in your life, you thought you have already met the love of your life. Everything’s perfect. You know each other so well, you feel like the connection is limitless. However, the timing is not right. No other element can defy what’s going to happen and what will not.
22. Years in a relationship is nothing if you know deep in you that he is not the one. Do you know people who are in a relationship but at some
23. You can’t change the person you chose to love
24. If you get ignored in your past relationships, that doesn’t mean you are not worthy of love anymore
25. You are stronger than you think.
You will feel better after a bad break-up.
On Family
26. Mothers really know best
27. Quality time is the best gift for the family
28. Appreciate and love your parents while they can still hear and see it
Above all these, you are enough and you will always be worthy of love.
So, dear, I hope you know that you don’t need to know everything at 28, or at 25, or at 35. Just live the life that your soul is always yearning for.